


Touch

by starburn_ngc2440



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Case Fic, Castiel Has a Crush on Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Curses, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Sharing a Bed, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Witch Curses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25620934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starburn_ngc2440/pseuds/starburn_ngc2440
Summary: So, you know how every time an episode starts half way through a hunt, everything goes to shit really quick? well, a witch hunt that Dean and a newly human Castiel are on takes a turn for the worse, and the witch curses Cas. Cas is in almost unbearable pain unless Dean touches him. How will they be able to break the curse and kill the witch?
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 11
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> idk when this is set, don't ask me lmao :')) ik that it's before jack and the empty deal because fuck that, there is no mark of Cain n no darkness and Cas is human. 
> 
> anyway I hope you like it! I will try to write the next chapter asap

Dean slammed his shoulder into the door, attempting to force it open. After the frustration if tailing an elusive witch for two days, he mostly just wanted this hunt to be over. But, he also could not stand waking up in a shitty motel room bed to find that Cas had been watching him all night. 

The mildly comforting thought of Cas making sure he was okay was dampened by the fact that, one, that was kind of creepy, and two, the fact that Cas was newly human and should have be sleeping. Dean would never admit that the thought was comforting though, so when he caught Cas doing it for the second time, he focused on the reasons why Cas shouldn't be.

Cas, newly fallen and horrible at getting a human amount of sleep, apparently, was lagging behind Dean in the hallway out of sheer exhaustion. The heavy outfit from before he fell (that he absolutely refused to take off) couldn't be aiding in the free movement he was going for. He was also holding his gun wrong, but Dean didn't have the time to address all of that, because that was the moment the door decided to give.

Dean barrelled into the witch's apartment, gun raised and not at all dwelling on the bone-weary look in Castiel's eyes as he stepped up next to him. Okay, maybe he was dwelling a little bit, but only because he was concerned for the guy. He knew Cas was unhappy with being a human, and felt like he was useless to the Winchester brothers without his powers. This hunt was supposed to ease his mind, and to prove that Dean didn't keep him around just for his 'angel mojo'. That they were friends. And so far it had proved that Cas was more than just a flash-medic on wings, but it had not resolved the fact that Cas had no idea how to function as a human. 

Even though Cas was tired and achy from the normal human experience -or as normal as one can get around Sam and Dean- he still managed to shoot the witch killing bullets in his gun in the vague direction of the short, mousey haired witch. She was pouring intently over what looked to be a spell book, but the sound of gunfire quickly caught her attention. Dean was closer to the mark with his bullets, though she let out a yell and ducked at the last second, throwing her book at Dean's head before she darted off down a hallway. Cas attempted to run after her, but she quickly spit out a few phrases in Latin before making a hasty exit out the window, clanging down the fire escape and into the street below.

Cas took all of three steps towards the window before the spell seemed to hit him, and he sunk to his knees with a sharp groan. He curled in on himself, clawing at his chest. Dean caught up with Cas, and was able to hold him up before he pitched to the side. He quickly dropped to his knees in front of Cas, a panicked look in his eyes at the pain Cas was clearly experiencing.

"Cas, buddy, what's wrong? That bitch cast a spell, didn't she?" He asked earnestly. The only response he got was another strangled groan, from the folded over body in front of him. Dean reached up and cradled Cas's face in his hand. Cas leaned into the touch and unclenched his muscles a little from where they had been seizing up. He pushed his face into Dean's hand and placed his own hand over Dean's to keep it there. Dean widened his eyes in shock and attempted to move his hand out of Cas's grip. The second his hand left Cas's skin altogether, Cas flinched and screwed his eyes shut in pain.

"Dean," Cas said, voice rough and strained from the pain that was trying to claw his way out of his chest, "I'm sorry. I let her get away. You should go after her. I'll be okay."

"Dude, no way," Dean replied, "You're hurt, or cursed, or whatever. We can gank her some other time. Right now we gotta find a way to help you." He tried to pull Cas to his feet, but every time he did Cas just slumped back to the ground, and Dean couldn't support his full weight by himself. Dean may have a couple inches of height on him, but the dude was heavy. After the third try, Cas had just collapsed on his side, face smushed into the floor.

"Come on, dude, you gotta get up. I'll basically carry you if you can stand, but I can't lift you." He extended his hand, and Cas looked pained as he weakly reached up to grasp it. As soon as their skin touched, the pain in Cas's chest eased, and he let out a gasp of relief, air he didn't know he had been holding. Gratefully, Dean pulled him up, wrapping a flannel-clad arm around Cas's waist. Cas caved into Dean's side, going limp as Dean let go of his hand. 

"Alright dude, let's get back to the bunker. We clearly need to find out what the hell this curse is before we go chasing that witch again." Cas nodded weakly at Dean's words, now in to much pain to protest that Dean should find her regardless of his state. It felt like his chest was collapsing in on itself, his ribs cracking and lungs puncturing. But, when he placed his hand on his chest, he found a very uncollapsed ribcage, though every time he breathed it did feel like a thousand knives. 

Cas's breathing was getting more pained by the minute as Dean lugged him to the Impala. Dean fumbled open the passenger's side door with one hand, and then guided Cas into sitting down. Cas attempted to buckle the seatbelt himself, but kept missing the buckle as his vision blurred. Dean reached over and took the buckle from Cas and secured it himself. As their hands touched momentarily, Cas sighed in relief, no longer on the brink of fading into unconsciousness. 

"Hey, that wasn't so bad, right?" Dean said, still looking very concerned despite his words. He patted the side of Cas's head, ruffling his hair a little, and Cas leaned into his touch very heavily before Dean pulled away and closed the door gently. Dean plopped down in the driver's seat a moment later, and fell into the routine of starting up the car and pulling out of the small apartment block's parking lot. 

During the drive back to the motel, Dean glanced over at Cas about every five seconds. He was worried about the guy, sue him. Cas had taken a hit, becoming human, and now who knew what kind of curse had hit him?

All Dean knew was that Cas leaned into his touch a little more than usual, and that Cas was in a lot of pain right now. Cas let out a particularly loud groan, and Dean placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to steady both Cas and himself. To reassure himself that Cas was still there, was not going to die on his watch.

The hard lines of pain in Cas's face softened, and his hand came up to press insistently over Dean's when Dean tried to pull it away. Cas breathed out a relieved sigh and smiled softly.

"Uhh... dude?" Dean questioned, his voice a little higher out of nerves, "can I have my hand back? I kinda need it to, y'know... drive." Cas grimaced in response, clutching Dean's hand ever so slightly tighter before letting go. He curled up facing the window and muffled his sounds of pain until they reached the motel fifteen minutes later. 

Dean exited the car, the harsh bang of the car door jarring Castiel out of his pain-induced stupor. The door to his right that he had been leaning against opened, causing him to tip a little before correcting himself. Dean reached out his hand.

"Okay, Cas, let's get you inside. Give me your hand. Okay, good, now... yeah, over my shoulder. Good job, bud," Dean spoke comfortingly as he got Cas arranged. Cas's right arm was draped over Dean's shoulders and Dean's arm was wrapped around Cas's waist in a feeble attempt to keep Cas upright. They were pressed together from hip to shoulder, and Cas heaved a sigh, breath shaking its way out of paper lungs. 

Dean lugged Cas up to the motel room door, fumbled for the key, and then unceremoniously shoved it into the lock. The door swung open, and Dean and Cas hobbled over to Cas's bed and Dean gently lowered him down into a sitting position. He sat down heavily on the bed next to Cas's and leaned forward. Cas huffed and fell backwards so his top half was laying on the bed and his feet were steady on the floor. He pressed his hands over his eyes, digging into his sockets to try and get rid of the head-pierced-by-a-railroad-spike feeling.

"Okay, Cas. Do you have any idea what the curse is, now that you've been stuck with it for a while?" Dean said, trying to get right to a way to help Cas.

"You're not going to like it."

"Come on, Cas, I can handle it. Lay it on me," Dean replied a little indignantly.

"Fine. When the curse hit me, it was like I was being stabbed in the chest with a thousand white-hot pieces of glass. Then, you ran over to make sure I was okay, and you touched me, and it was like cool water instead of searing heat. It was good. I was fine again. And then your hand dropped and it was back to white-hot glass. When you were carrying me into the room, that was even better. Nothing hurt, and I felt... safe. That is probably the best way to describe it, yes," Cas finished, breathing out slowly and evenly in a controlled way. He sat up to see Dean's reaction, looking like he was bracing for impact.

"... Oh," Dean said, reaching out to Cas and placing a hand on his knee. Now that he knew what made Cas okay again, it was a simple fix, "Okay. Well, if I just need to touch you, I guess I'll just keep my hand glued to your shoulder or arm or something, until we can find and gank that damn witch. It'll be a little harder to fight, but it won't be too much of a problem."

Dean smiled a little, and Cas breathed out a sigh of relief. 

"Okay. But, Dean, if you just touch my shoulder, I still won't be able to fight properly," Cas's forehead bunched up as he spoke, "When you touched my face, without any fabric in the way, my head was clearest."

"Oh, okay. Well, if you get out of that holy tax accountant trench coat and suit jacket, then you can roll up your sleeves and I can hold your arm. That would be better, right?" Dean said, squeezing Cas's knee little, trying to be reassuring.

"To make it easier, you could simply hold my hand. It's skin to skin, and it gives you more freedom to fight with," Cas stated, tilting his head towards the hunter slightly. He was making what he knew was a good point, but he doubted Dean would accept nevertheless. He hoped Dean would.

"Oh. Uuhh." Dean looked a little flustered, but he was thinking it over. He apparently decided that it was the best option, and picked his hand up off of Cas's knee to take his hand. He gave it a squeeze, which Cas took as permission to interlace their fingers. Dean privately decided this wasn't half bad, and if it helped Cas, why couldn't he enjoy it? Even if it was only because of the curse. He knew Cas would never want to hold hands with him otherwise. He had long accepted that Cas simply didn't love Dean like Dean loved Cas.

By this time Cas was looking content, not in pain anymore. Dean was just grateful to get that horrible, twisted expression off Cas's face any way he was able to. Cas was staring intently at Dean. He was in a state of mild shock that Dean not only held his hand when Cas asked, but didn't pull away when Cas held on tighter. It gave Cas a little hope that he felt he should not have. Why should he, after all these years? Dean had never seemed to harbor any romantic feelings for him as far as he could tell, but it was all the little moments like this that made Cas stop and think.

"Well, let's get started on breaking this curse so that we can kill that bitch of a witch." Dean gave Cas's hand a light squeeze and smiled carefully at him.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long for so little, I was on vacation! Updates will be a little more regular :DD

"That's it!" Dean exclaimed, slamming the thick, leather bound book in front of him, dust clouding from its pages. Anger and exasperation took over his face as he leaned over to lightly hit his head on the book's cover. Cas squeezed the hand Dean was holding, trying to extend some comfort. He and Dean had been researching for the whole day since Castiel was hit with the curse. 

It was around three in the morning, and Cas was beyond tired. He was having a hard enough time sleeping in the first place, and more than once he had dozen off before Dean shook his shoulder to wake him up. Around midnight, he began feeling a low-level pain in his chest even with Dean holding his hand. It was not enough to bother worrying Dean with, but enough that he was too uncomfortable to fall asleep again. Cas knew Dean was exhausted beyond measure too, but knowing Dean, he would not rest until there was some way to break this curse. 

The squeeze of Dean's hand only made Dean hit his head on the book harder, a small blush visible on his face. 

"Stop being so melodramatic, Dean," Cas said with a slight hint of amusement. He put his hand between Dean's head and pushed it up until Dean was sitting up straight. "We will just have to get her to break the curse before we kill her. You have done it before, it should not be excessively difficult."

Dean simple swatted Castiel's hand away. He picked up the book and tossed it carelessly onto the ever growing pile in the unused chair. "It's gonna be a little harder since we're attached at the freakin' hip, Cas."

"We are not attached at the hip. We are simply holding hands. It is not the end of the world, Dean," Cas said, tilting his head in Dean's direction. "I know that it makes you uncomfortable, and I am sorry. If we knew what the curse was, then it would be much easier to learn how to break it. Until we figure it out or get the witch to break it, you will just have to... what do you say? 'Suck it up'?" A little self satisfied smile graced Cas's face, and Dean could tell that he was teasing. 

Dean felt like holding hands with he man he had been in love with for well over half a decade was almost synonymous with the end of the world. It was bursting his little bubble of self inflicted isolation and denial. 

He wished it was easier to tell Cas exactly how much he needed him. He didn't want to shatter the friendship that had been hard tempered by the fires of several real end-of-the-world situations. If he was honest with himself, he could handle being just friends with Cas of it meant being close to him. If he was even more honest, even if they were just friends, he would never stop loving Cas.

In short, holding hands when you're repressed, emotionally constipated, and touch starved is a tough thing to do calmly. 

Dean leant his head back until it dropped onto the back of the chair, the blush on his cheeks spreading to his ears. He still held on tight to Cas's hand, though. He wasn't going to let go until he had to. 

Cas glanced over at Dean before letting out a sigh. "Well then. If there truly is noting out there that can remove or at least lessen the effects, we should sleep."

"Uhh... how's that gonna work?" Dean said, turning to face Cas, "With me having to be... touching you all the time?" The thoughts running through Cas's head were of the cuddling persuasion, though he knew that Dean would never condone that. He became a little fidgety at the thought.

"Sleeping in the same bed would be the simplest solution," Cas stated. Then, at Dean's surprised expression, Cas rushed out "But we do not have to touch excessively. You can put your hand on my arm, or something like it."

Dean schooled his expression into something more neutral before he replied. "That sounds fine. Just stay on your side of the bed!" He laughed, trying to brush off the tension of the situation. Cas's expression fell a little.

As Dean yawned widely, the pain that had settled snuggly in Castiel's chest grew. Cas's face twisted, unable to hide the pain from his expression now that it was getting harder to manage, even though Dean's hand was still firmly held in his own. He slowly interlaced their fingers, giving Dean time to stop him, but the rejection never came. Dean checked his watch. 

"3:18 am, wow," Dean said, rubbing his forehead with his right hand. "Yeah, okay, let's sleep. Your bed or mine?" 

Cas took a look over at the beds. It was going to be difficult to fit two people on one bed while still maintaining a comfortable distance. "The left one has fewer lumps, so mine." 

Dean got up from his chair, stretching his right arm in the air and leaning back until his spine popped. "Are you cool with me letting go for a minute so I can take a leak an' wash up?"

"Yes, Dean. I will be fine." Cas said, reluctantly relenquishing his hold on Dean's hand and watching him enter the bathroom with a pile of clothes he had retrieved from his duffle. He didn't need to brush his teeth as he had done it earlier, so he took the time Dean was in the bathroom to change into boxers and one of Dean's old, stretched out Metallica t-shirts. 

Dean came out of the bathroom smelling like toothpaste and aftershave. He closed the door and turned around to see a sleepy and ruffled Cas in his shirt sitting under the sheets of a bed they were about to share.

Castiel was confused why Dean made that sound.

Mostly Cas was just trying to keep the pain off of his face. In the seven minutes that Dean was in the bathroom the pain had filled his chest to bursting. His ribs felt like they were cracking and puncturing his lungs as he crawled underneath the sheets on the not-quite-double bed.

Dean came out of the bathroom hesitantly and placed his old set of clothes on top of his bag. He shuffled around in his worn out Led Zepplin shirt and sweatpants before sitting on the side of the bed. Cas grabbed his hand as soon as Dean was in reach. When he pressed their hands together and interlocked their fingers, his expression became far less strained. 

"Dean, the pain is getting worse. Even when you hold my hand, it still hurts." Castiel grimaced, as though the statement was an admission of weakness. 

"That's okay, dude," Dean said with sincerity, " I can just put my hand in your arm, that way more skin is touching." He pulled his hand out of Castiel's grip and placed it over Cas's arm. He moved slowly so Cas could pull away if he wanted. Cas pushed his arm up into Deans hand and put his own hand over the point of contact. 

"Thank you, Dean. I'm sorry that this curse is an inconvenience to you. I know you do not like to touch me very often." Cas said, his flat expression masking the sadness he felt that Dean didn't want to touch him, and that this curse was forcing Dean to do something he didn't want to.

"It's not an inconvenience, Cas." Dean leaned in a little and knocked their shoulders together, hand rubbing up and down Cas's arm in reassurance. "I normally don't touch you because I figure you don't like being touched. You don't, do you?"

"I don't mind it at all." Cas replied, shaking his head at the very notion that he disliked when Dean touched him.

"Oh, well, I'll start touching you more then." Dean's heart positively sung at the news that he would be able to touch Cas more. He wanted to respect Castiel's boundaries, so he had never encroached on his personal space too much. But now he could up the contact, he was grateful. He was naturally a pretty touchy guy; it was how he expressed affection. And he had a lot of affection for Cas. 

"It's really late," Dean said with a yawn, "Let's sleep. This bed is pretty big. You'll be comfortable, right?" 

"Yes, Dean, I'll be fine."

"Good." Dean nodded and got up, putting his hand on Cas's shoulder briefly before he walked to the other side of the bed and under the sheets. He put his hand back on Castiel's arm as he got comfortable.  
Cas lay down facing away from Dean, Dean's hand still firmly wrapped around his upper arm. As Dean lay down, he decided that Cas would probably be more comfortable if he wasn't basically hugging Cas. He had to reach over from a distance to hold Cas's arm, and it was a little uncomfortable. 

"Hey Cas, does it work the same of you touch me instead of me touching you?" Dean questioned, "It's just... I figure if I sleep on my stomach and you put your hand on my back, it would be more comfortable than this."

"I believe it works that way. Go ahead and get comfortable." Cas put his hand on Dean's arm where the sleeve of his t-shirt ended as Dean flipped over onto his stomach. The contact warded off most of the pain, but it left a twinge behind his ribs that wouldn't go away. 

Once Dean got comfortable, he placed his hand on Dean's back. It was through his shirt, so it wasn't as good at easing the pain, but since his whole hand and part of his arm was in contact with Dean, it was better than before. Now that Cas was on his left side, the lumps in the motel mattress weren't as noticeable, which was fine by him.

"Goodnight, Dean," Cas said softly.

"'Night, Cas." Dean said, his face towards Cas as he blinked slowly. He turned his head the other way before pressing his face into the pillow.

It was very late, so Dean knocked out in a matter of minutes. His breathing became regular and Cas's hand rose and fell with Dean's ribs. Dean could sleep just about anywhere, but he fell asleep faster than usual because it was nice to share a bed with someone. Especially Cas. He liked the comfort of knowing he was close by, safe. The hand Cas rested on his back was definitely confirmation that Cas was there. 

Now that Cas was human, he wasn't so insistent on leaving. Cas flitting away the second the job was done was never something that Dean liked. He liked Cas with him. Under his eyes, under his hands, keeping him in place before he left again. 

Even though the lights were out in Dean's head, Cas had trouble falling asleep, like always. He loved having Dean so close, loved being able to make sure that Dean was real and solid and there. He reminded himself that Dean was only this close to him, only willing to stay, because if he didn't Castiel would be in pain. He reminded himself that Dean would never really want this. 

He reminded himself of the careful distance that existed between them, and not only on the bed they currently shared. He and Dean had always been close, sharing a 'more profound bond', as he had once put it. They had saved each other from themselves more times than either of them could count. Cas had made it clear that he loved Dean, even if he didn't say it in the way he really wanted to. But Dean had never said that he loved Cas. No one ever had, so he really should have expected that. 

Dean had always said that he needed Cas. At first, Cas though he needed him as a tool, a weapon. But later he saw what was behind Dean's eyes. He knew Dean was telling him that he loved him, in his own way. Even if Dean was saying -as Cas was sure he was- that Dean loved him as a brother. Castiel wished things were different. He had for a long time.

With these thoughts filling his head, Cas gently stroked his hand up and down Dean's back as his eyes drifted shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! The next chapter will be out asap :0 comments and kudos really do make my day :D


	3. discontinued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry :(

hey! sorry if this is disappointing but I'm discontinuing this fic because I am no longer that interested in spn and am not motivated to finish  
I'll still leave it up for anyone that wants to read the first couple chapters!  
if you want me to orphan it so you can write it comment here!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! I will be posting little hints of the next chapter and updates on the writing (whenever I get around to writing it) on my Tumblr, @//cjh-draws !! come yell at me via the ask box


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